So VGA 10 have just ended and I feel like I deserve a fucking award for watching the stream to the end, despite having to suffer through the same fucking Jack Reacher/Dr.Pepper/Need for Speed/MMA commercial sequence over and fucking over again. What the fuck was the point of that??
While there, I will give out an award of my own to the VGA’s: the most exciting and disappointing moment of the year. That is showing the G-Man on the screen, awarding Valve with ‘Game of the Decade’ for Half-Life 2, having like fifteen Valve people come out on stage, including Gabe Newell, for the first time in the history of VGA’s getting me to lean in and start giving a shit, thinking “holy shit! is it… are they… about to…” Aaaaand that’s when one of the guys, who was not Gabe Newell, says “thanks a lot guys.” They walk off the stage. Not even a lame joke about the million-pound fucking elephant in the room? Fucking trolls.
Other than that, the show was pretty much what anyone would expect. A bunch of random celebrities came out on stage to relate their encounters with gaming, by starting every monologue with “when I was growing up…” you know, because it’s all about them and gamers really give a fuck. The most cringe-worthy one had to be Jessica Alba trying to convince everyone that she actually played Mario, with a story about “a turtle” she couldn’t kill. Girl, you so hilarious!
Anyway, I don’t mind celebrities much, although things got to the point of awkwardness with Sam Jackson, if you ask me. I understand that the guy thinks he is fantastic. I do too and a few related jokes were alright but stating it repeatedly throughout the duration of the entire fucking show is a bit much, no? The dude got more praise than all of the nominations combined.
The reveals–the reason most of us actually watch VGA’s–were not too bad. Most of the stuff was new footage from games we had already seen that I imagine won’t change anyone’s mind about anything. Some standouts:
The Phantom Pain. This game looked intriguing as fuck. A guy wakes up in a hospital (or does he?) and is hunted down by some soldiers and a whole bunch of murderous weirdness. Is any of it real? Is he dreaming? Is he hallucinating? Did he die and go to hell? It’s not clear but I would actually like to know because things look great.
Dark Souls 2. This was somewhat unexpected and the trailer looked absolutely fantastic. Can’t wait for gameplay.
Last of Us. Good trailer but really, if anyone had not been convinced by the game, they will never be.
South Park. Again, nothing that would change anyone’s mind. A fun and funny trailer.
Gears of War: Judgement. Didn’t look bad but I was disappointed, to be honest. It looked to me like the same old fucking Gears. Meh.
That’s it. No ‘Skyrim’ this year but a couple of decent reveals. The best of it will be on YouTube soon.